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Earthboundology 1.3 - by Chris

Earthboundology 1.3

Well, kind readers, it looks like this little project has managed to survive not once, but twice! If this rate keeps up much more, I might wind up doing this regularly. Before going to today's serious, life-threatening issue regarding a random aspect of Earthbound, I'd like to take a moment to thank and respond to an email from leeman. He makes the point that "In regard to Paula burning herself from the heat conducted from the metal in the frying pan, perhaps she uses PSI Freeze on it to keep it cool and conduct less heat." Certainly a valid point, and quite believable; after all, Paula does always possess PSI Freeze. Now, it's time to move to the topic for today : Dining in Eagleland.

The types of meals people eat vary greatly, from those who subsist on fast food to those who dine only in five star restaurants where even the roaches where tuxedoes. In Eagleland, however, food options seem much more limited. While many towns offer a Burger shop and a Bakery of some sort, there are few real restaurants. The most famous is the Restaurant Summers, which provides several gourmet (read: expensive) entrees from which to choose (Side question for someone more intelligent than I: How does the Restaurant Summers serve Kraken Soup before the Kraken is defeated by Ness and company?). Beyond that, however, one is restricted to Bags of Fries, Croissants, and whatever one finds in the trash. Thus, how do the people of Eagleland survive with so little food?

The big four (Onett, Twoson, Threed, and Fourside) all offer enough dining options for people to theoretically live on; further, it is possible that they import food from other parts of the world. Winters has a drugstore that sells Picnic Lunches, Skip Sandwiches, and Lucky Sandwiches, along with coffee (if any of this information about the restaurants proves inaccurate, it is because I am using the strategy guide for some research, and we all know how reliable THAT is). This might explain why Dr. Andonuts sent Jeff to the boarding school: he expected better food choices for his son there than in the lab, eating Krispy Kreme or whatever brand of donuts they serve in Winters.

Once one leaves the Big Four (and Winters), one finds widely varying food options. Dalaam serves water, Brain Food Lunch (I always think of that as being something in the shape of a brain), and $300 Jars of Delisauce, which must contain a potent narcotic to be worth that much. Summers has the expensive Restaurant, but there is also the grocery store in Toto for those who would like to escape with only paying a hundred dollars or so to feed a family a meal. Scaraba offers several dishes I know I have never bought or even possessed in all my times playing the game (unless Bean Croquette is a figment of the strategy guide author's imagination; I'm too lazy to do any research to find out). In Deep Darkness, one eats Beef Jerky and drinks Bottles of DX Water or Protein Drinks (there is also a Beef Jerky in one of the gift boxes that has been sitting in the swamp for who knows how long; I recommend a heavy dose of Delisauce before eating that). The Lost Underworld offers Mammoth Burgers and Luxury Jerky (vegetarians are out of luck down there), as well as the ever appetizing Tendakraut. Perhaps the most interesting place to dine is Saturn Valley, with the Peanut Cheese Bars and Piggy Jelly, along with very interesting waiters.

What does all of this mean to the world? Malnutrition doesn't appear to be a problem in Eagleland, leading to the theory that there is more food than meets the eye (or the mouth). Perhaps food is imported from other parts of the world, and the offerings available to Ness and gang are just the touristy dishes. Ness's mom, after all, must make your favorite dish somehow; she always has the ingredients to prepare it for you. Therefore, the conclusion reached by this analysis is that the rest of the world exists basically to provide food for the people of Eagleland and the surrounding territories (the geography of Ness's adventure would make an excellent topic to bludgeon in a future Earthboundology). So, munch on that until next time.


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