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Juicing the Orange Kid - by Cut Man

Juicing the Orange Kid

I'm sure you remember Orange Kid, the inventor. Well, ever since I heard about his tricking Ness out of $200.00 (or $50.00 if the time was wrong), I began a mission to figure out what makes this guy tick, and how he could turn out to be one of the most crooked characters in Eagleland. You may find my discoveries shocking.

Section A -- Orange Kid: Inventor or Impersonator?

Ness proudly walked into Orange Kid's abode one fine morning, to inquire about possible inventions that could help him along the way in his quest to defeat Giygas. However, what Ness didn't know, probably hurt him and his friends more than Giygas and all of his forces combined ever could. Examples? Yes! First of all, Orange Kid lied to Ness, saying he'd need 200 dollars to begin work on some new inventions. Ness, overjoyed at the possibilities his aid might bring, cheerfully tossed some green the Kid's way. Never did Ness notice that not a single invention could be seen anywhere in the Kid's house. Instead, a nice, comfy couch [probably purchased from other embezzled money] and a full case of books [and odds are his secret crime lab is stashed behind them].

Section B -- What are the benefits of 'investing' with Orange Kid?

Orange Kid must have known something about inventing, or he would not have been able to present Ness with the Suporma, or "Super Orange Machine". This device, when used, simply plays a tune devoted to the Orange Kid, then destroys itself. Now, does that reek of fraud, or what? You expect quality inventions, and get nothing but a suicidal music box. It's sick, just sick.

Section C -- Orange Kid's tauntings

Well, documented phone calls and later visitations show that Orange Kid did, at least, try to hold up his end of the bargain. He reported to Ness several times about a so-called machine that, when used, would turn a boiled egg back into a raw egg. Other than that, he seems only to belittle Apple Kid, who in reality was an honest and very beneficial inventor. Of course, looking at the machine to turn a boiled egg back into a raw egg, we have to put into consideration the fact that Apple Kid is the food obsessor. Orange Kid seems only to like money, and the young girls that oagle him from the outside. Since Apple Kid is the major food maniac, could he have been working on the egg machine, only to have the cruel Orange Kid steal his plans? No wonder Apple Kid was kidnaped... Orange Kid probably HIRED Pokey on that one! Why wouldn't he? The clues all match up!

Section D -- Should he be juiced?

Now I am asking you, should Orange Kid be juiced for his actions? Don't you believe that he should be squeezed dry of all the stolen money? Don't you want to see the little schoolgirls fall for Apple Kid, or even his pet rodent, rather than the devious Orange Kid? When cornered by reporters on this issue on his way to the Onett library, Orange Kid would only remark that, "Excuse me, but I'm kind of shy. Would you mind putting this off until I've got a chance to read the book, 'Overcoming Shyness'?" Yeah, that Orange Kid is a slippery one, all right. Someone, someday, needs to cut off his wrind... then see who he tricks!


Other Submissions by Cut Man

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
Cut Man Juicing the Orange Kid
34
7/31/06 0.00
Cut Man Must All Crows be Spiteful?
33
7/31/06 0.00
Cut Man Odds Are You've Done It In Moonside
35
7/31/06 0.00
Cut Man RPG MIX: It's the 'X'
36
7/31/06 0.00

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